You ever wake up and just have to tell yourself "Baby you smart... you very smart" in your DJ Khaled voice!? No? Just me? Well, it may sound sound funny when he says such beautiful words of encouragement to the ladies in his videos but to me these are small comedic reminders that we must tell ourselves beautiful affirmations to get ourselves through. I know I'm not the only person in the world that dealt with self confidence issues once upon a time and there are personal rituals and skills that I had to develop to instill to keep a positive image about myself. I even was blessed enough to find my passion of makeup artistry through while building my self esteem. I paint faces not only because I love transforming the outside but transforming the inside of a woman's worth is the main reason why I do it. Some don't know what is special about them aesthetically and brought my artistry I try my best to bring that out. Today I'm going to touch on the top 4 things that helped me push through my issues with body image and self confidence!
Affirm until you believe!
Now I'm all for being your own personal hype man. You hear people like Kanye West hype themselves up all the time. My favorite motto is "Love you like Kanye loves Kanye". Let's face it, Kanye has the self confidence that exceeds all levels of self confidence! Some think it's arrogance but in all actuality it's self motivation mixed with self validation. He doesn't need the validation of others because he has already validated himself. Validation is something that holds most of us back. For years I only felt I was doing something right or of importance if my parents consigned or if my family gave the pat on the back. This was detrimental to my sanity because what if they didn't believe in what I was doing? What if they thought I should I be going down a different path? That would leave me feeling unaccomplished and defeated. Once I built a self validation armor like Kanye I was unstoppable. If a friend doesnt support my business that is not an indicator that I'm not doing well it just means they don't feel like supporting. That has nothing to do with me and all to do with them!
Faking it until you make it
Sometimes you have to put your big girl panties on and move through world "as if". Smile "as if" you are happy ALL the time. Laugh "as if" you find the humor in everything. Tell yourself your beautiful "as if" you believe it all the time. This ties into affirming believe. If you keep doing things "as if" that is how you really feel nine times out of ten you will end up feeling that way. Smiling is contagious so on those days you are feeling down go look in the mirror and smile. I guarantee after you awkwardly smile in the mirror for about 5 minutes you will laugh at how silly you look and boom you are happy!
Show up and Show out!
This philosophy is something my mother taught me. Always dress your best and always slay! Sometimes we wake up and just want to roll out of bed and throw on the nearest thing to us. Some sweats some sneakers and a head scarf. I find that this is a recipe for disaster. This will not make you feel better but will end up making you stay in the slump you are in. Instead, choose outfits that exude confidence. Throw on a red lip to channel your bold and feisty personality or style your hair in a way that shows a part of who you are! I love wearing flowy dresses and even Dusters. When you walk into a room or walk down the street and the wind catches your garment you just look powerful as heck! You can almost look like your floating and I'm all about the drama of floating!
This is the practice that helps me maintain my self confidence. With the hustle and bustle of life we tend to forget what purpose we serve. I make sure that everything I do has "intention". I never make decisions just because. If I'm going out to party it has intention. The intention is to practice smiling or meet new people to build my network. When I chose to be a makeup artist and set the goals to work on television the intention was to chase my dreams by any means necessary and show others that if they put their mind to it they could achieve their goals also! Manifestation of your dreams is a powerful thing. When I speak to young girls about beauty and the power to manifest greatness it creates purpose for me. On November 19 I will be a guest speaker for the HairOnPurpose Conference in Harlem and that is going to give me an abundance of reinforced purpose! I'm planting seeds in the youth and that feeling of purpose is priceless. Find a purpose!
Now that I have shared what I do do maintain my confidence. What is that you do on a daily basis? How do you stay beautifully devoted to yourself?