Beautifully Found

Photo By Mike Kelso

 

 

Loss can be something so detrimental to our lives that we feel it could never be something we could handle with with grace. I came across a meme on Instagram the other day that stated "if you lose someone but find yourself, you won". This was a profound statement because in 2016 I dealt with a lot of loss. Not loss of people by death but loss of people by LIFE. Life happened and relationships were tarnished and done with. 2016 was originally #SWEET16 but what is so sweet about loves lost and friendships missing from your life? I will tell you what's sweet about that. The sweetness is that through that you find yourself. You find your happy! Here are a few ways I learned how to handle loss of friendships with grace and beauty. 

Photo By Mike Kelso

Mourning

I went through a serious mourning period of the friendships lost. Some feel as though it's not necessary but it is. To get through the other side I believe you must go through the 5 stages of grief. Those 5 stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. You may not be on those stages long. It may be a 3 minute conversation with self that gets you through the other side or it may be a 3 month period of you going through the motions. Everyone's time table is different but it's the same process none the less. Once I learned how to identify what I was feeling and why I was then able to apply my coping mechanisms. If I'm in the angry stage I would put on music that would lighten my mood. If I was in the denial stage I would pray my way to understanding. Everyone has their own ways of coping so you must find yours. 

Photo By Mike Kelso

Show up and slay 

My motto in life is "Show up, slay and make people mad". Now I know part of this statement sound hella petty but face it sometimes the 5% (or more) of petty you have in your system can help you get through. Why not show up to an event because he or she is going to be there? Put your best outfit on and your best smile and show up! Work the room. "Fake it until you make it" as some would say. If you want to go to an activity or event but the person you lost may be there no need to stay home. You must fight through your feelings. Don't miss out on an opportunity of fun because you are in your feelings. Learn to block out certain energy and push through. You will be happy you did!

Photo By Mike Kelso

Revamp your life

Revamping is key for me to get over a loss. Revamping can include sitting and reflecting on life or cleaning out my closet. I went through a period where I would look at old pictures before a relationship and evaluate my smile, my weight and my overall presentation. If all of that was on 100 before the relationship and then I look at pictures during the timeline of a relationship and see how I was floating away that's reassurance that I made the right decision to walk away. Sometimes we don't realize we lost who we were until it is too late. But in all actuality is it EVER too late? We all have the power to get ourselves back or find a new inner strength. For me I just took my #HappinessJourney up 10 notches. I lost 20lbs and maintained it. I started focusing on my health and my presentation. I made strides in my career because I no longer put my energy into things that altered it. I went to more events and met new people that could add value to my life. At the end of the day we choose to be happy so why would I choose the latter. 

Life can get the best of us sometimes but it's up to us to take control and manifest greatness. So go ahead and mourn then show up and slay and see how the journey of happiness unfolds. 

Beautifully Devoted, 

Tish 

Beauty Cross Roads

Photo Credit: Mazi Oyo

My Quarter Life Crisis
We all go through this. We hit a point in our lives where we ask the questions "what did I accomplish in life" or "am I happy" or "am I doing enough!?" Well, I hit that point in my life at 25. I call it a quarter life crisis. Yes I said quarter life. Most of us are familiar with a midlife crisis that happens around 40. That's when men start buying fast cars they couldn't afford in their 20's and picking up 20 year old women to hang out with them. Or  that time when women start letting it all hang out and partying until the sun comes up like they are in high school. We all know that crisis but most don't identify with quarter life. When you hit 25 especially for us 80's baby's, we look at our life and that of our parents and make comparisons. Most of our parents had whole wife's or husbands by 25! They owned homes and had one and a half children if not 5 by the age of 25. They even were fully invested in their careers and knew they had a pension waiting for them down the road. Us... Those fly, sophisticated and educated baby's of the Millenium, NOT SO MUCH! At 25 we are still finding ourselves may have just completed college and starting out in a career we went to school for or in a career that has nothing to do with the degree you paid Sallie Mae so much for. Or you could have been like me at 25... LOST.

Photo Credit: GStar

 How I found my passion
At 25 I had a mini nervous breakdown. I say mini because I'm still standing but at that time I felt way less then ok. I was battling depression in my early 20's as well as extreme anxiety. I just wasn't happy at all. I had enough of being unhappy so I went on a journey. A journey that I now call my "happiness journey". I started developing myself spiritual, mentally and emotionally. Through that personal development I found my passion which is makeup artistry. Now some may think I just stumbled upon makeup but when I actually look back on my journey I always loved making people up. I used to make my little cousins over when they would spend summers with me. I always practiced the latest hair styles and dressed them like they were my models. Then when I attended Lincoln University I joined an amazing fashion club called ZIANA. Here is where I really found my love of fashion and beauty! The resident makeup artist was a girl named Leigh and I would watch the creations she came up with for the fashion shows and always wanted to do what she did! Shout outs to Leigh because she is an amazing artist. I also met other beautiful souls in Ziana like Mush and Tobias who are still my friends to this very day. They always pushed me to be my best because they saw more for me than I saw for myself. After leaving Lincoln University, I came home and worked in corporate America where I had satisfaction for a moment but as time went by the satisfaction turned into worry. Worried if I was really living to my fullest potential, worried if I was just letting time pass me by, worried if I was becoming the "living dead". Yes I said it, the living dead. The living dead are people in society that are not doing what they love or passionate about and are dying inside over time. You become a shell of sorts. Just a person walking around going through the motions but not really living. At 25 I decided I didn't want to be that person. It was then that I dusted off my makeup kit and said "let me try this". The intention of my makeup kit was to help me make connections in the fashion world because I originally wanted to be a stylist and image consultant. But I quickly found out my passion was more than that. The first face I ever did the whole world went silent. Being a person that battles with anxiety and had constant panic attacks this was a HUGE deal. When this happened I felt a spiritual connection to what I was doing. At that moment the fear of the unknown was no longer a factor. I didn't care about "what if I failed?" The thing I cared most about is what if I never truly win at life because I'm letting fear get in the way. Once I found this feeling I knew I found my passion and I never looked back. They say the two most important days of your life are when you are born and when you discover your purpose. I can tell you first hand that the feeling of knowing what you were put here for is a feeling money can't buy.

Photo Credit: Mazi Oyo

My Happy Place
Makeup makes me happy because it's a form of expression. It's my ministry that helps women see their beauty. I don't just do makeup, I transform self image. If you follow my work you will see that I love a natural face. If you go to www.tishferguson.com you can skim through all the work and find the common denominator is natural but glamorous beauty. I believe all women have beauty locked away inside of them that they haven't quite tapped into yet because of the subconscious and conscious standards society places on us. WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL as long as we know that first.

Photo Credit: Mazi Oyo

My Purpose
I'm here to paint the world one face at a time and share my gifts. Through my journey I want to show others that the road isn't easy but it's worth it. I didn't just magically land on a MTV show set for Ja Rule. Houdini didn't wave a magic wand and Mc Lyte appear in my makeup chair. I achieved these things by first believing in myself. Second, not caring what others thought of my journey. Third, never giving up no matter how tuff it gets and fourth GOING HARD IN THE PAINT!


So welcome to my Blog 'Beautifully Devoted' where I am devoted to give you the good the bad and the ugly of all things beauty. This is where beauty, fashion and personal development intertwine because let's face it what we are on the inside shines outwardly to the world. With the tips, tricks and just raw truth about these topics I hope I can help you start your own happiness journey because we all deserve happiness.

Photo Credit: Ron Specs

Now that you know my story, what's yours? What got you started? What is it that passion you are keeping locked away because you are afraid of failure? Hit the crossroads my friend and choose a direction. True Happiness on earth or land of the living dead.

Beautifully Devoted,
Tish Ferguson